Leg cramps hurt, but they tend to pass. More permanent: losing your teeth to a hockey puck. The Miami Heat player was hobbled by cramps in Game Four of the NBA Finals Tuesday night. Since hating on Lebron James is a more popular national pastime than the four major sports combined, he became the target for several NHL players who…well, frankly, we expected better burns than these, guys. As comedians, you make great hockey players.

Read on to see what they said. more

We…might have overdone it on the beer, if such a thing is possible

So your old friend came over. You know the one we mean: the guy who got a nickname like Meat, or Tank, or The Human Keg, and has been living up to it ever since. And he brought beer! Specifically, he brought terrible beer! Which is now sitting in your fridge, taking up space well after the Tank got too drunk to drive and you had to call his long-suffering wife to come get him.

And now you’ve got this crap beer to use up. Fortunately, it’s surprisingly easy to do.

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Well look at Molly Dandy and her fancy cuttin’ knife! 

Let’s say that, for some strange reason, you want to be President. In spite of what some movie might have you believe, being a “Vampire Hunter” has yet to qualify anyone for the highest office in the land.

Most of our Commanders-in-Chief have had the kinds of jobs you’d expect: lots of them were lawyers, a couple were professors, and there were a smattering of oilmen/secret-society member/baseball-team owners (okay, that last one might only be Dubya).more