A lot of moviegoers consider the frequency of things like gunfights, car chases, foot chases, fistfights and boobs when discussing the manliness of films. One key ingredient however, is commonly left out: sweat. Sweating is the mark of a hard worker, and nothing gets the ladies engines revving like a good musky aroma. So here are some of the top perspiring movies of all time.
Training for a life-changing boxing match is hard work, and you can expect a lot of perspiration to ensue from it. Rocky (1976) takes it to a whole new level. When is the last time you sweat through a hooded sweatshirt? Rocky must have geysers under his armpits. Plus, he is constantly sweating. It would probably take a beach towel to soak up the al the sweat he accumulates just reading the morning paper.
Today’s youth may only know of Airplane! (1980) through Family Guy jokes and seeing it on their cool uncle’s DVD rack. It is thanks to this movie that when people were informed of Leslie Nielsen’s death last year, more than half of them replied “Surely you can’t be serious.” Eventually, Ted Striker does agree to attempt to land the plane. This movie may be a comedy, and this scene may, in fact, be a joke, but it still deserves a place on this list. Who knows? A civilian who hasn’t flown a plane since a traumatic tour during the war might actually sweat exactly that much if they were told they had to land a commercial jet filled with innocent, wholesome people.
3. Matrix Reloaded
No, we’re not talking about the first Matrix (1999) movie, although with all that tight black leather and bullet-time fighting, Neo probably produced enough sweat to fill President Taft’s specially made bathtub. Since it’s likely you haven’t seen the sequels since they first came out, here’s a quick refresher. The humans of Zion, built close to the center of the earth, are preparing for an army of machines to come and wipe them out. Their solution is to have a massive, sweaty rave. And you thought your high school prom needed better air conditioning.
2. Cool Hand Luke
When you work on road maintenance for a southern prison, you get pretty used to sweat. In fact, every character, at all times in this movie, is sweating. We literally could have chosen any clip from this movie to display people sweating. Like this one. Or this one. So, with the freedom to choose any point in the movie, we present the best part of Cool Hand Luke.
1. Fight Club
Another classic dorm room poster, Fight Club (1999) has some of the grittiest and dirtiest fight scenes ever put to film. These aren’t professional fighters or karate experts stylishly dancing with one another. These are fat, sloppily out of shape regular guys letting out their pent up anger by wailing on each other in damp basements, staining the concrete floor with blood and sweat.
Matt Tarpey is an Aquarius from Chicago who loves singing in the shower, moonlit walks on sandy beaches, and all things pop culture
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